the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
