4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
