So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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