remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
In America we eat man semen.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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