there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
