a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
