Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
