There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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