we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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