I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
