home. puking in laundry basket.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
