yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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