I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
