How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my being single is dangerous.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
