Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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