guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
