then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
