She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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