oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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