I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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