feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He kissed a someone with a penis
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize