they need to just BURY HIM!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
