He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize