So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
