***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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