No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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