The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
