DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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