i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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