So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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