I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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