Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize