My nipple is on Facebook.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
