Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
