I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
