just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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