Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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