38 yer olds are good kisserssss
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
