i love accidental penises.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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