I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
