why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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