I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together