Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"