Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.

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  (334): They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer. http://tfl.nu/2vpk
  Replies (46) Good night (1027) Bad night (3441)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

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  (610): I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace. http://tfl.nu/hmhd
  Replies (48) Good night (7752) Bad night (1210)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you

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  (203): my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it (973): just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you http://tfl.nu/4uwz
  Replies (60) Good night (2179) Bad night (5197)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number

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  (248): Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number http://tfl.nu/nl2y
  Replies (20) Good night (6717) Bad night (1211)
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  (631): View more from New York

  the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

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  (631): the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010' http://tfl.nu/beuj
  Replies (9) Good night (6662) Bad night (1094)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.

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  (937): We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard. http://tfl.nu/l7xl
  Replies (10) Good night (4113) Bad night (1138)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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  (+44): You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/2spc
  Replies (12) Good night (4237) Bad night (1119)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

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  (208): the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker http://tfl.nu/9orb
  Replies (6) Good night (2209) Bad night (1073)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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  (+64): Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking. http://tfl.nu/52no
  Replies (6) Good night (2057) Bad night (783)
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  (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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  (916): You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar". http://tfl.nu/r1q0
  Replies (6) Good night (2336) Bad night (642)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.

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  (951): I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement. http://tfl.nu/1khp
  Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (574)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.

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  (330): the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica. http://tfl.nu/9g1v
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.

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  (251): I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka. http://tfl.nu/3ozc
  Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (322)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not

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  (406): Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not http://tfl.nu/qjke
  Replies (5) Good night (680) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

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  (651): When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail http://tfl.nu/zj29
  Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (286)

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