One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life