If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy