i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
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No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.