Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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