My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
