She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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