its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
