I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
