don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
