she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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