So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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