Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
this hospital has no fireball
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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