I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
