Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
