I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
