i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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