Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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