Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
