you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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