Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
