i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
