Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize